Have you been misled?

Facebook is not as good as myspace in my opinion, but I can understand how one can get similarly obsessed with either.

Anyway, I was going through the facebook groups today and I was searching for bollywood (naturally). These similar topics kept coming up; groups like Bollywood gave me unrealistic expectations about desi men (with a grand total of over 10,000 members) and Bollywood Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love ♥ (with over 5000 members). So there are a number of bollywood-loving brothers and sisters out there who have had their hopes quashed by real life after a life time (or whenever you began watching Indian films) of Shahrukh Khan or Madhuri Dixit.

And it's not only Bollywood. I have realized that whatever popular culture you choose to emmerse yourself in, there is always a degree of letdown when you learn from experience the reality of life.

For example, songs. Songs make us feel beautiful and all fuzzy inside. Especially love songs. It reminds me of a quote from one of my all-time favourite movies: Waiting To Exhale. Whitney Houston's character is lying on a couch listening to pretty rnb songs and she says something along the lines of: Why do people write these damn songs? To make you think, to make you feel, that anyone could actually feel like this. Someone must have gone through this s*** to write it. (NOTE: That was a BIG paraphrase on my behalf!)

I would be the first to admit that popular culture has been the store stocking my particular brand of rose coloured glasses. Bollywood movies and rnb love songs are mainly my drug of choice - the things that give me a high and help me hallucinate the bad bits of life out.

But I am also beginning to realize that love and falling in love is not formulaic. I have only really been out with two guys but both times I have understood that it doesn't run like it's supposed to: boy meets girl, boy asks girl out blah blah blah blah marriage blah blah blah babies blah blah blah old age and rocking chairs.

But wouldn't it be great if it did? There would be no complications and no time lost.

The reason I have breached this subject today is because I kind of like the most complicated person ever. He is no Shahrukh Khan in Chalte Chalte at all.

The thing is - I think I only like him because I know he likes me. Shame job. But apparantly that is one of the characteristics of falling in love - you begin to like someone more if you know they like you. And apparently, there is always someone in a relationship who likes the other more. I know this from the great storeroom of knowledge former flatmate Arika had in her head.

So which side is it better to be on? I think both times, I have been on "the other person likes me more than I like him" side. I don't like it - you feel out of control and obligated and unsure of yourself. But oh well, I'm only 19 and am bound to have more experiences!

Wouldn't it be great if every boy was like John Donne in Love Infiniteness:

If yet I have not all thy love,
Deare, shall never have it all,
I cannot breath one other sigh, to move,
Nor can intreat one other teare to fall,
And all my treasure, which should purchase thee,
Sighs,teares,and oathes, and letters I have spent.
Yet no more can be due to mee,
Than at the bargaine made was ment,
If then thy gift of love were partiall,
That some to mee, some should to others fall,
Deare, I shall never have Thee All.

And, as I mentioned earlier, it would be great if, in the courting stages, every boy was like Shahrukh Khan in Chalte Chalte - who would buy a plane ticket to Greece just to woo Rani Mukerji.

This boy who I am kind of involved with right now, was apparently so upset when I left, but then hasn't even sent me a simple text!!

So I guess, even if pop culture leads us on, at least we can always refer back to it to make us feel a tiny bit better about our lives. At least screen-writers get it.

Check out this song called "Suno Na" from Chalte Chalte - it is one of the sweetest songs ever. Shahrukh is so charasmatic and Rani is seriously the most beautiful girl in the world (i'm not exaggerating!). In it, he is trying to convince her to listen to the story of his heart, which is urging her to "choose me as your companion".