Buddhism, Tibet and having a baby

When I was a little girl, the Wizard of Oz was basically my favourite movie EVER. And it's not as if I have heard many variations on the song "Somewhere over the rainbow". But this is my favourite so far.



I love him so don't you dare criticise :P (His name is David Choi by the way, and his Youtube channel is here.)

Anyway, onto the important part of my post.



I just started re-reading one of my favorite travel memoirs, Mantras and Misdemeanors: An Accidental Love Story by New Zealand journalist Vanessa Walker. The reason that this book is my favourite of the genre is basically because Ms Walker seems to forgo the air of cynicism and sense of superiority that so often travel writers seem prone to fall into (case in point: Holy Cow! by Sarah MacDonald). It's especially weird since she was a journalist for The Australian, a newspaper not known for it's cultural sensitivity.

Basically, the story is this. Ms Walker has been a Buddhist for quite a while when she decides to give up her job in Sydney to spend a year writing a book about Tibet and the government-in-exile in McLeod Ganj, in the far north of India. So she sets out and barely a few chapters in she meets the love of her life, former monk Choying, who has escaped from Tibet and in the course of his travels derobed. As she interviews people she also tells the story of her interracial love story with this handsome Tibetan and in the course of the tale, has his baby. :P

I've always felt slightly drawn to Buddhism. It seems such a peaceful religion and the Dalai Lama is more influential to me than people like Benny Hinn or whichever Chrisitan leader you happen to look up to. In fact, the current Tibetan government-in-exile (the Central Tibetan Administration) has adopted a Middle Way approach to the illegal Chinese operation of Tibet, which promotes peaceful reconciliation. There is of course, people who would rather violent means to end the struggle (and frankly, I don't blame them. With independence still a while away, why would you simply settle for autonomy within China?) But of course, I still am not that well read on the Tibet situtation, but I suspect I am pro-Tibetan independence.

Anyway, hearing Ms Walker write about Buddhism, from an easy to understand Westerner perspective (and she is very genuine as well, you can just tell that she is not one of those people who practices religion because it is trendy), I went out and bought a book of Buddhist scriptures. There is no one book of Buddhist teachings, so there have been many people who have collaborated information into an easy source. I started reading the scriptures today and am feeling even more drawn to the religion. Actually, they often say that Christianity has a lot in common with Buddhism.

I've decided that I am not going to completely write Christianity off. Sure, I don't particularly believe in it, but reading the Koran has really awakened my appreciation for Jesus and what he did. He was a great man and I truly believe he lived. The contention is whether he actually was the Son of God. I don't know if my heart has been hardened but I find it hard to believe there is only one way to God. I read Richard Dawkin's The God Delusion and I felt overwhelmed by athiesm. But it is also not something I am going to discount. Right now, the thing I am fearful of is whether I"ll have the time to find the right belief system for me before I die.

Maybe it was because I was a Christian for so long, but I feel as if I need to believe in something. But I don't want to beleive in something just for the sake of believing in something. I want to actually BELIEVE it. Does that make sense?

I told my sister today that I was starting to look more into Buddhism and she said "No! Don't! It's Crazy!" My sister is still young so she is not at the point where she is questioning what she believes in. I'm never going to try to convert her either. It will be up to her to decide what road she wants to travel when she gets there. But the thing that really got me was she said "You know, I've studied all those religions". I had done the same thing in my school but the study was so biased - it was basically putting all these religions up to Christianity and convieniently forgetting the negative aspects of Christianity. It saddens me about the school I went to and made me realize how quickly I conformed to fit in. I can't say I never did believe in Christianity, I did, but I always had more doubts than my friends. I was always more cynical, but kept quiet cause I wasn't prepared to argue and put myself up against the majority who believed.

So I've decided to keep studying and buying more literature and I'm going to try to either get to Tibet or McLeod Ganj next year. I really want to go to India so hopefully I can get there. India is amazing, I think I will wake up to so many things over there.

The other thing that has been bothering me recently has been the fact that I haven't even hit my 20s and I already want a baby. Is this wrong? I know it isn't unusual but it is for me because I've never really thought I wanted a baby.

I think it is because my brothers are nearly ten and for so long I have babied them. I imagine they are getting sick of me always wanting hugs and baby-talking them. They are grown boys now.

Lucky my head is stronger than my heart. I know I am not emotionally or financially ready to have a baby right now.

So I guess it will have to wait!

Luv
Me